The Gathering Storm Read-Through #36: Chapter 33 - A Conversation with the Dragon

By Linda


WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR TOWERS OF MIDNIGHT

Rand is dressed in a dark red and black dragon robe; Moridin’s colours. He is annoyed that Nynaeve channelled in front of him. This is the sort of thing that the Dark One objects to. Rand is well on the way to being a control freak, but Nynaeve doesn’t back down. If anyone but Nynaeve had sent a message to awaken Rand they would have been flogged. Once, Rand was not so autocratic or arrogant. He no longer even shows affection when he looks at Min.

Rand sees Nyaneve as Aes Sedai:

"You Aes Sedai," he finally said, "share much with rats, I have come to realize. You are always in places where you are not wanted."

The Gathering Storm, A Conversation with the Dragon

He is angry that Nynaeve is doing things off own bat; yet she did them more competently than anyone else. People are too afraid to do anything but follow Rand’s instructions to the letter, or even to make suggestions, therefore things are not done that might have been.

Rand forces his will onto Kerb in an evil way, which makes darkness appear around Rand and food and drink in his presence to rot.

Knowledge from Lews Therin is used absently by Rand. Nynaeve rightly thinks this knowledge from Lews Therin is unnatural and also traumatising. Rand tells Nynaeve to do something very difficult – remove Compulsion – in an offhanded way and Nynaeve feels challenged to do it. She also realises that no one else is capable of removing Compulsion.

Rand is very gentle with Kerb after he divulges the information and looks exhausted after the apprentice dies. Nynaeve is upset that all her efforts did not Heal Kerb, but hastened his end (although truly he was at the end when Graendal got hold of him.) She is disgusted and sullied by the experience and would like to have been warned of the consequences of removing Compulsion. This spurs her to challenge Rand over whether he feels guilt for his actions. He does, but there has been so much that it seems futile. Nynaeve warns Rand that being Winter’s Heart will destroy him He knows, but expects to be used up completely in the battle against the Dark One, so it is not necessary to think of how he will be beyond that. Rand is consciously using himself up.

"Sometimes, you can't turn back. You have to keep pressing on. And sometimes, you know this climb is your last…You all claim that I have grown too hard, that I will inevitably shatter and break if I continue on. But you assume that there needs to be something left of me to continue on. That I need to climb back down the mountain once I've reached the top…That's the key, Nynaeve. I see it now. I will not live through this, and so I don't need to worry about what might happen to me after the Last Battle. I don't need to hold back, don't need to salvage anything of this beaten up soul of mine. I know that I must die. Those who wish for me to be softer, willing to bend, are those who cannot accept what will happen to me."

The Gathering Storm, A Conversation with the Dragon

Rand never intended to come down the mountain; but after Dragonmount he did just that.

Nynaeve wants them to find a way for Rand to win and live on. Rand can’t think of that, because it’s too painful.

"I can't indulge myself. I'll climb this bloody mountain and face the sun. You all will deal with what comes next. That is how it must be."

The Gathering Storm, A Conversation with the Dragon

Rand climbed Dragonmount and considered destroying the world before the sun rose. As the Champion of the Light of the World, the Creator, he is the sun: Lord of the Morning, the unconquered sun, Sol Invictus.

He praises Nyaneve - the first time he has done that to anyone in days. Impulsively, Nynaeve says she did it because she wants Rand to trust her. She immediately regrets saying that, but he responds positively, so it was right to say it. Rand’s ta’veren effect aided him and her:

"I do trust you, Nynaeve. As much as I trust anyone; more than I trust most. You think you know what is best for me, even against my wishes, but that is something I can accept. The difference between you and Cadsuane is that you actually care about me. She only cares about my place in her plans. She wants me to be part of the Last Battle. You want me to live. For that, you have my thanks.

The Gathering Storm, A Conversation with the Dragon

Rand is much more self-aware than Nynaeve thought. He is wrong though, but she can’t express why.

Why couldn't she make herself yell at him that he was wrong? There was always hope. By surrendering that most important emotion, he might make himself strong—but risked losing all reason he might have to care about the outcome of his battles.
For some reason, she couldn't find words for the argument.

The Gathering Storm, A Conversation with the Dragon

Without hope Rand has despaired and become bleak and harsh. Moridin despaired too in the Age of Legends and developed a nihilistic philosophy. This is now stronger than ever as we saw in Chapter 15 of The Gathering Storm. The link to him has damaged Rand.